The things I do to avoid work. Somehow I managed to finish my presentation (ish, at least) and am nervy about giving it, or speaking out loud. It's 2.45 am, my usual hour, and it really shouldn't have taken so long, except I've been distracting myself.

Not by doing anything practical by any means. Mainly spinning around in the spinny chair, trying to tidy my room in anticipation of house viewings. Wondering how I'll decorate my own home when I get it.

I'm very happy tonight, and not just because the work's done. I feel new. In minutes I'll be lying in bed looking at the moon through the skylight. It was the first nice weather day of the year. I wore a jacket outside all day and wasn't cold. I watched Raging Bull for class. Tomorrow it's Three Colours: Blue. I'd rather watch Belle du Jour again, but then I would.

Reading old e-mails is strange, I think. I've been eye-rolling my way through e-mails from old school "friends" (I attracted the type of angsty middle-class pathological liars that spend too much time online, you know the type, who would throw any real life trauma back in your face which is why you don't tell them anything of importance - I'm thankfully rid of that kind of parasite these days), and from old lovers and people I hardly know from when the internet was shiny and new to me...I'm not talking about progression here. It's more like a...I don't know. I don't recognise myself in the doormat who replied to them all. I couldn't do anything 'cause I hadn't got the noive, as the cowardly lion said. Sang, actually.

I've had some ideas but I haven't written them down. One of them's stolen from an episode of Family Guy I saw late last night.

I had a dream that involved a young Gerard Depardieu in Restoration dress finishing an outdoors gay sex session by ejaculating on the grass. I don't know what my position in the story was.

There was also a dream about me trying to get the Futureheads' autograph.

I have new glasses. I'm nearly done with fake life, and into the real world. It's scary, but I can't wait. Unless I flunk this year, but hopefully not. I don't think I can handle university housing anymore. It's very cold and we have spiders and slugs. If only I could cook them...or if only my local supermart sold aubergines, then we'd be in business.

I have a necklace that is a bird cage. It has birds on the floor and another swinging in a hoop. I wear it with a dress that has three cats staring up at them. It makes me feel like an installation.

I never write anything important or personal here. That's why I like it.